Lesson goal
After the lesson, the student will be able to talk about family composition, family roles, and relationships between relatives, describe family background and life circumstances, and also use subordinate clauses with som, der and når for more natural and connected speech.
Usage context
This topic is used when meeting people, in conversations with colleagues and friends, in informal discussions about family, when talking about childhood and family background, as well as in situations where you need to explain who you are close to, how the family is structured, and how relationships have changed over time.
New vocabulary
slekt — relatives, kin — a broader word than family in the narrow sense
nær familie — close relatives, immediate family — usually parents, children, siblings, partner
fjerne slektninger — distant relatives — used when contact is irregular or the relation is not very close
samboer — partner you live with without being married — a very common word in Norwegian
stebarn — stepson, stepdaughter, spouse’s child from a previous relationship — depends on the family context after a new marriage or union
å komme godt overens — to get along well — usually about people who have a good relationship
å ha tett kontakt — to keep close contact — about regular communication
familiebakgrunn — family background — used when talking about upbringing, culture, and childhood conditions
å holde kontakten — to keep in touch — often about relatives who live far away
forhold — relationship — suitable for both family and romantic relationships
Useful phrases
Jeg kommer fra en ganske stor familie. — I come from quite a large family. — for a general start to talking about your family
Vi har tett kontakt, selv om vi bor langt fra hverandre. — We stay in close contact even though we live far from each other. — when you want to show closeness despite the distance
Hun er den i familien som alltid holder kontakten. — She is the one in the family who always keeps in touch. — for describing a person’s role in the family
Forholdet vårt har blitt bedre med tiden. — Our relationship has become better over time. — when talking about a change in a relationship
Jeg står nærmest søsteren min. — I am closest to my sister. — to say who you are especially close to
Vi kommer godt overens, fordi vi er ganske like. — We get along well because we are quite similar. — for explaining the reason for a good relationship
Jeg har ikke så mye kontakt med de fjerne slektningene mine. — I do not have much contact with my distant relatives. — for a neutral description of distance in communication
Familiebakgrunnen min har påvirket hvordan jeg ser på forhold. — My family background has influenced how I view relationships. — for a more meaningful personal description
Grammar
In this lesson, subordinate clauses with som, der and når are important. They help not only to name people and situations, but also to clarify who or what is being referred to. At the B1 level, it is important to be able to use them naturally and not overload the sentence.
som — used to describe a person, object, or group: Hun er den som alltid ringer. This is the most common option for expressing “who/that/which”.
der — usually refers to a place or situation, especially after words like familie, hjem, miljø: Jeg vokste opp i et hjem der alle hjalp hverandre.
når — introduces a time clause: Når vi samles, snakker vi alltid lenge. It is suitable for repeated situations or things that usually happen.
After a subordinate clause, the word order changes: in the subordinate clause there is usually no inversion, for example selv om vi bor langt fra hverandre, not the word order used in a question.
som sounds natural when you need to quickly clarify exactly who is meant. If the meaning is not definition but reason or time, it is better to choose other conjunctions, for example fordi or når.
der should not be used mechanically instead of som. For people, som is usually needed, while der is for places, environments, or situations.
når does not always mean “when” in the sense of one specific moment. For repeated family habits, it is especially natural: Når vi besøker bestemor, lager hun alltid middag.
Examples with explanation
Jeg kommer fra en familie som er ganske stor, og vi møtes ofte selv om vi har travle liv. — I come from a family that is quite large, and we often meet even though we have busy lives. Here som clarifies the word familie, and selv om adds contrast.
Broren min er den som vanligvis organiserer familieselskapene, fordi han liker å ha alle samlet. — My brother is the one who usually organizes family celebrations because he likes having everyone together. The construction den som naturally highlights the person’s role.
Vi har tett kontakt når noe viktig skjer, men i hverdagen snakker vi ikke alltid så mye. — We stay in close contact when something important happens, but in everyday life we do not always talk that much. når shows a typical situation in time.
Jeg har en samboer som kommer godt overens med foreldrene mine, og det gjør familietreffene mye enklere. — I have a partner who gets along well with my parents, and that makes family gatherings much easier. som describes samboer, and the second clause shows the result.
Jeg vokste opp i et hjem der vi snakket åpent om problemer, så det er lett for meg å diskutere vanskelige ting. — I grew up in a home where we talked openly about problems, so it is easy for me to discuss difficult things. After hjem, it is natural to use der.
Forholdet til faren min har blitt bedre med tiden, selv om vi ofte var uenige da jeg var yngre. — My relationship with my father has become better over time, even though we often disagreed when I was younger. Here there is both contrast and a time reference.
Jeg har noen fjerne slektninger som jeg nesten aldri ser, men vi sender meldinger når det er bursdager eller høytider. — I have some distant relatives whom I almost never see, but we send messages when there are birthdays or holidays. som defines the relatives, and når shows a typical reason for contact.
Søsteren min er personen som kjenner meg best, derfor snakker jeg ofte med henne hvis jeg trenger råd. — My sister is the person who knows me best, therefore I often talk to her if I need advice. The example combines definition, result, and condition.
Jeg kommer fra en familiebakgrunn der utdanning alltid har vært viktig, og det har påvirket valgene mine senere i livet. — I come from a family background where education has always been important, and that has influenced my choices later in life. Here der refers not to a physical place, but to an environment and circumstances.
Når hele familien samles, er det alltid noen som forteller gamle historier, og det skaper en god stemning selv om vi er veldig forskjellige. — When the whole family gathers, there is always someone who tells old stories, and that creates a good atmosphere even though we are very different. In one example, når, som, and contrast with selv om are shown.
Typical mistakes
Han er den der alltid holder kontakten. → Han er den som alltid holder kontakten. — for a person after den, you need som, not der
Jeg vokste opp i en familie som alle hjalp hverandre. → Jeg vokste opp i en familie der alle hjalp hverandre. — after a word about environment or family atmosphere, der is more natural
Når jeg var barn, vi bodde i Bergen. → Når jeg var barn, bodde vi i Bergen. — after a subordinate clause, inversion is needed in the main clause
Vi har tett kontakt, selv om bor vi langt fra hverandre. → Vi har tett kontakt, selv om vi bor langt fra hverandre. — in a subordinate clause, the word order is direct
Jeg har en stebarn. → Jeg har et stebarn. — the word stebarn is neuter
Vi kommer godt med hverandre. → Vi kommer godt overens. — this fixed expression should be memorized as a whole
Mini-summary
som — for people and for what or whom you are specifying
der — for place, environment, or family situation
når — for time and repeated situations
When talking about family, it is useful not only to name relatives, but also to describe roles, contact, and changes in relationships
Natural B1 speech combines short and extended phrases: fact, reason, contrast, result