Lesson goal
After the lesson, the student will be able to talk about relatives, family roles, and close relationships, describe a person’s character, talk about support and conflicts, and also use subordinate clauses with som to describe people and relationships.
Usage context
This topic is used in everyday communication: when meeting people, in conversations about family and a partner, in describing relationships with relatives, in discussing conflicts and reconciliation, and also when you need to briefly characterize a person. Such phrases are often needed in conversation with friends, colleagues, neighbors, in a study group, and in informal messaging.
New vocabulary
slektning — relative — a general word for a family member or relation, not only immediate family
forhold — relationship — can mean a romantic relationship; in other topics the word can also mean “conditions, circumstances”
ektefelle — spouse — a more neutral and formal word than colloquial alternatives
samboer — partner you live with — not necessarily married
oppdra — raise — usually about children: to shape habits and behavior
krangle — argue — a colloquial word for everyday and personal conflicts
støtte — support, to support — both as a verb and as the noun støtte
nær — close — about physical or emotional closeness; in the topic of family, more often about feelings
ensom — lonely — describes an emotional state, not just the fact that a person is alone
god kontakt — good contact — a fixed expression for relationships with family and friends
være sammen — be together — about a couple who are in a relationship
løse en konflikt — resolve a conflict — often used with the adverbs rolig, sammen, på en god måte
Useful phrases
Jeg har god kontakt med familien min. — I have a good relationship with my family. — when talking about regular communication and closeness
Hun er en person som alltid støtter meg. — She is a person who always supports me. — for describing a person’s character and role
Vi prøver å løse konflikter rolig. — We try to resolve conflicts calmly. — when talking about an approach to arguments
De har vært sammen i mange år. — They have been together for many years. — for describing a long-term relationship
Jeg står nær søsteren min. — I am close to my sister. — when you want to emphasize emotional closeness
Han krangler ofte med foreldrene sine. — He often argues with his parents. — for describing a recurring conflict
Hun føler seg ensom etter skilsmissen. — She feels lonely after the divorce. — when talking about a person’s state
De oppdrar barna sine på en rolig måte. — They raise their children in a calm way. — for describing a family communication style
Grammar
This lesson uses subordinate clauses with som to describe people, roles, and relationships. This type of clause answers the question “which one?”, “who?” and adds information to a noun. Most often, a person or group comes first, followed by the part with som: en person som..., en familie som..., en venn som.... In a subordinate clause with som, the usual word order is kept: subject, then verb. If there is negation or an adverb, it comes before the main verb: som ikke forstår meg.
en person som alltid støtter meg — som links the noun and its description
Jeg har en bror som bor i Bergen. — the subordinate clause specifies which brother is meant
Hun er en venn som jeg kan stole på. — after som you can continue with a full subordinate clause
De kjenner folk som ikke liker konflikter. — in the subordinate clause, the negation ikke comes before the verb liker
som is not translated separately in every case; functionally it means “who”, “which”, “people who”
Examples with explanation
Jeg har en slektning som bor alene. — I have a relative who lives alone. Som bor alene specifies which relative is meant.
Hun er en samboer som tar mye ansvar hjemme. — She is a partner who takes a lot of responsibility at home. After en samboer comes a description of the person’s role in everyday life.
Vi kjenner et par som har vært sammen i over ti år. — We know a couple who have been together for over ten years. The subordinate clause with som describes the duration of the relationship.
Han har foreldre som alltid støtter ham. — He has parents who always support him. Here som introduces a characteristic of the parents.
Jeg liker mennesker som sier det de mener rolig. — I like people who calmly say what they mean. The subordinate clause describes a type of people, not a specific person.
Hun snakker ofte om søsteren sin, som hun står veldig nær. — She often talks about her sister, whom she is very close to. Here the subordinate part adds information about the relationship.
De er en familie som prøver å løse problemer sammen. — They are a family that tries to solve problems together. This construction is suitable for describing family values.
Han er ikke en person som krangler mye. — He is not the kind of person who argues a lot. The negation belongs to the main clause, and som krangler mye describes the type of person.
Jeg kjenner noen som ofte føler seg ensomme. — I know people who often feel lonely. After noen you can also use som to describe a group.
Hun vil ha et forhold som bygger på tillit og støtte. — She wants a relationship that is built on trust and support. The subordinate clause describes the desired type of relationship.
Typical mistakes
Hun er en person der alltid støtter meg → Hun er en person som alltid støtter meg — to describe a person, you need som, not der
Jeg har en bror som ikke bor ikke hjemme → Jeg har en bror som ikke bor hjemme — in a subordinate clause, double negation is not needed
De er sammen siden mange år → De har vært sammen i mange år — for a duration continuing up to the present, har vært + a period of time is usually needed
Jeg er nær med moren min → Jeg står nær moren min / Jeg er nær moren min — the construction with med is unnecessary here; the fixed expression står nær is more natural
Han er ensom fordi han bor alene → Han er alene fordi han bor alene / Han føler seg ensom — ensom is the feeling of loneliness, not simply the fact that a person is alone
De oppdrar barna veldig strict → De oppdrar barna veldig strengt — after the verb, you need the Norwegian adverb form, not a foreign word
Mini-summary
som is used to describe a person, family, friend, or relationship: en person som...
nær and god kontakt help you talk about closeness and good communication
krangle — argue, løse konflikter — resolve conflicts
ensom is an emotional state, not simply “being alone”
For long-term relationships, har vært sammen i ... is often used